Help Wanted, Desperately

In between ridiculous mistakes and egregious oversights, Ariel Horn explores whether jobs will ever give life meaning –– and where meaning comes from in the first place. With candour, wit and embarrassing naivete, Help Wanted, Desperately, a hilarious first novel by a recent college grad, ultimately touches on what it means to have potential –– and how we find happiness in who we are, not what we do.

Alexa Hoffman never expected to fondle crotchless panties in the middle of an interview. And under no circumstances did she ever anticipate that in her quest for a job in New York City, she would ultimately try to become an earthworm breeder, a phone sex operator, and a deodorant sniffer all over the course of one week.

Desperate to avoid moving back in with her parents, Alexa haphazardly signs up to become an English teacher for $100 a month on the third world island of Majuro, though she has no real interest in actually working there. Eager to move to New York City and avoid Majuro at all costs, Alexa makes a vow: it’s Majuro or Bust and she’s got only seven months and three weeks to find and secure a job in New York City.

As the clock furiously ticks closer to her imminent trip to Majuro and Alexa’s desperate search for employment grows increasingly more bizarre, Alexa finds herself falling deeper in love with her boyfriend Jared, and deeper into an endlessly disastrous situation that forces her maniacal job search into new and uncharted waters, murky with possibility, love, and the confusion born from missed opportunities.