At Your Own Risk
At Your Own Risk by Derek Jarman, published by Hutchinson in 1992, is a poignant exploration of life through the lens of a filmmaker and advocate for gay rights. This first edition, comprising 228 pages, presents Jarman’s reflections following his HIV diagnosis in 1986. The book serves as both a personal narrative and a broader commentary on gay sexuality, tracing its evolution from the repressed 1940s to the more liberated 1960s, while addressing the challenges posed by the AIDS crisis.
Readers will find Jarman’s candid confrontation with his own mortality interwoven with a celebration of gay identity. He articulates the complexities of living with HIV, emphasizing the transition from fear to acceptance. Through his experiences, Jarman offers insights into the societal attitudes towards AIDS and the importance of defiance in the face of adversity. At Your Own Risk stands as a significant contribution to discussions surrounding health, sexuality, and the personal impact of societal norms in Great Britain.
Official synopsis Publisher
One of the most controversial filmmakers of our time (Caravaggio, The Last of England, Edward II), and outspoken crusader for gay civil rights in Britain, Derek Jarman was diagnosed HIV positive in December of 1986. At Your Own risk is Derek’s distillation of his philosophy of life and an impassioned and witty guide to gay sexuality from the repressed 40s through the libidinous 60s to the Aids-chilled present. Derek confronts his death, describing the reality of being HIV positive. Of a walk home after a sexual encounter on Hampstead Heath, he writes: “Why are you doing this, Derek? You shouldn’t be standing under these cold stars. You shouldn’t have the stamina to do this.’ The answer is that I didn’t have the stamina, but throwing my arms around a stranger is an act of defiance that keeps me alive.” At Your Own Risk is an act of defiance – a defiant statement against a society that vacillates between indifference and moral censure on the issue of Aids and a defiant celebration of gay sexuality. At Your Own Risk argues that if you are HIV positive you can only remain frightened for so long and that there comes a point at which fear gives way to acceptance – a point after which you have to start living again.
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