When Pleasing You Is Killing Me

When Pleasing You Is Killing Me by Les Carter, published by BookBaby on June 23, 2018, is a 260-page exploration of the emotional toll that people-pleasing can take on individuals. This book addresses the struggles faced by those who prioritize harmony in relationships, often at their own expense. Dr. Carter, drawing from his extensive experience as a psychotherapist, shares real-life stories that illustrate the challenges of dealing with controlling personalities and the impact of such dynamics on personal well-being.
Readers will find insights into how to navigate relationships with controlling individuals while fostering personal growth and self-esteem. Dr. Carter emphasizes the importance of establishing boundaries and developing assertiveness skills to counteract the negative effects of coercive communication. By encouraging readers to trust themselves and set their own pace in life, this book serves as a guide for those seeking to reclaim their emotional health and autonomy in interpersonal relations.
Official synopsis Publisher
Are you one who likes to keep the peace even when it comes at a high emotional price for yourself? Do your attempts to resolve differences with a controller leave you feeling wrung out and discouraged? Do you sense that your best traits (goodness, kindness, cooperation) somehow become a disadvantage with an overbearing counterpart? These questions and many more are addressed in the book, When Pleasing You Is Killing Me.
With decades of experience as a psychotherapist, Dr. Les Carter takes you inside his counseling office, inviting you to share in real life stories of people just like you who are trying to make sense of persistent, controlling demands from all sorts of controlling people. A major premise explained by Dr. Carter is that every person has a built-in inclination to be controlling, but as maturation happens, controlling behaviors diminish. People pleasers are naturally positioned to increase their maturity since they are already predisposed to being loving, kind, and respectful. But when they routinely butt heads with controlling counterparts, their maturation is stunted as they predictably get pulled into power forms of communication that include coercion, shaming, accusations, defensiveness, anger, suppression, and the like.
In the book, Dr. Carter will recount how real life pleasers developed relationship boundaries by incorporating assertiveness skills, ceasing unnecessary defensiveness, and setting aside false guilt for inner trust. Readers will be inspired to set their own pace in life, as opposed to letting the controller call the shots.
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