The Dead Man’s Mind

It was Friday the thirteenth, not destined to be a good day in the eyes of many overly superstitious fishermen on the dock. It was a gloomy day. The sky was scattered with dark clouds and a misty fog hung over the ocean. Doom and gloom again, said Captain John Carl Thomason unenthusiastically, as he watched his crew unload the catch onto the dock. The price is in the toilet again. What happened to the way things used to be around here? Probably gone along with his mind, muttered a short balding man who looked worthless in every respect. Shut your trap, Remi, snapped John Carl. Yes Cap, said Remi. He sounded like he had memorized the responses he gave to his captain s commands. John Carl Thomason looked as though he would be very good looking if it were not for the fact that he always looked as though he was having the worst day of his life. Is that a banana you re eating, Remi? asked John Carl casually. Yes Cap, said Remi automatically. Well, guess what, mate? said John Carl, his voice colder now. What? asked Remi, not catching his captain s cold tone. Bananas are bad luck, that s what, yelled John Carl. He grabbed the banana out of Remi s hand and shoved it in his face. DO YOU- REALIZE -WHAT -TODAY IS? he yelled, pronouncing each word with deadly emphasis. No sir, spluttered Remi, who looked quite the idiot with banana all over his face. IT S FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH, YOU WORTHLESS IDIOT, roared John Carl. We have enough bad luck without you making things worse with your stinking slimy banana. The Captain threw the banana peel on the dock and stormed away, swearing loudly. Remi stumbled towards the truck, carrying a large box. He stepped on the banana peel and fell flat on his face. Hey, Remi, called a young man named Sono, how long does it take from when you step on the peel to when you hit the dock? One banano-second! There was a roar of laughter from the other crewmembers on the dock. Nice one, Sono, said another young man called Browen. Sono and Browen were brothers, ages nineteen and eighteen. They looked very much alike and had very similar personalities. They seemed to be able to read each other s thoughts, and were, therefore, exceptional liars. They could always talk their way out of anything, even with their captain, who was not easily fooled. Remi was not a challenge for them. They had taken the job working on the boats because neither of them was very academically inclined. They were, however, very good at making jokes, pulling pranks, and having as much fun as possible while on the job. They stopped at nothing to insult anyone who displayed a lack of intelligence or physical prowess. Remi Nelson was a short, chubby, balding man, who had never really been able to make anything of his life, or at least it never seemed like he had. He was thirty-five, but looked forty-five, at best. Sono and Browen thought he was at least fifty. Everyone always made fun of Remi, but he still seemed to feel important and useful. This only seemed to make things worse for him, although he never seemed to understand that. Just imagine being stupid enough to eat a banana in front of Cap on Friday the thirteenth, said Sono loudly. Imagine being stupid enough to slip on the peel and fall flat on your face, said Browen. Imagine doing this job till you re fifty, said Sono. I m thirty-five, snapped Remi, who had stood up and was wiping banana off his face. Really? said Sono mockingly. I had no idea guys went bald and got beer bellies that soon. You might want to tell Cap to get a move on, he must be at least thirty or thirty-five. I don t see him looking like that . Looks aren t everything, you know, muttered Remi. Clearly, or you wouldn t even be alive, sneered Sono. Get to work, snapped John Carl coming up behind them. Yes Cap, said Remi immediately Sorry sir, said Browen emphasizing the last word. We just found out that Remi s only thirty-five and we re, you know, shocked. We thought he must be at least f