Guilty Stains

Guilt usually comes from a sense that we’ve done something wrong, either intentionally or accidentally, or that we’ve neglected to do something. Sometimes it’s a sense that we’ve failed to fulfill an obligation or live up to a responsibility. Guilt drains us of energy. Let it go because it will eventually draw us back to the same behaviors of the past. There is no escaping the past if we continue to drag the old baggage with us. Some of it has its’ place, while the rest, we can do nothing with, but we hold on for dear life anyway. God has shown me a love that I could not have not otherwise. That feels like an awesome responsibility in and of itself. Has it been difficult? Yes! Have there been a trial or two I thought I could never surpass? Absolutely! What He has also shown me is that in the midst of it all, He’s not only there, but He shows up with that plan He always talks about that is designed just for you and me. Life, choices and consequences do catch up with us to remind us that we have them; they exist. They also remind us that if we aren’t careful, they come back in different ways. There are also the choices that are made for us, decisions that affect our lives forever, but for which we had no control. They show up just as powerful and sometimes, even more so. Sometimes they are the culprits that do the most damage. Those decisions hurt most or at least they do and have for me. I am not minimizing my own choices, but I am giving myself a much-needed break from all the ridicule, oppression and turmoil I have inflicted upon myself. Not a pass, just a break from it all. Between the pages of this book, I discuss the pain of identifying the root of the guilt and shame I felt after being molested, having a child as a single mother, being betrayed by my mother, dealing with broken relationships and overcoming divorce. I had to decide how I wanted to move forward and erase those stains that were causing me to remain stuck for so long after experiencing the trauma. I learned to retrain my thought process so that I no longer owned things for which I had no control over, like other people’s actions.