How to Set Limits

“Setting limits means defining the rules and regulations, the boundaries, that enable us to make decisions and act responsibly. Setting limits means drawing a line and then holding to that line. Limits provide structure–a framework–that guides and directs us in our daily living. “For parents, setting limits provides a means of maintaining control–you over yourselves, you over your children, and, ultimately, your children over their own lives. It does not mean imposing unreasonable restrictions, tethering creative or exploratory impulses, or bending personalities in contrary ways. Instead, what setting limits should do is provide parents with tools so they can skillfully guide their children–direct their children’s energies to appropriate paths so they can fulfill their own destinies in a responsible way.” — From the introduction to How to Set Limits For every parent who’s ever asked him- or herself “Who’s in charge here?pediatrician Elizabeth Vinton provides advice and explanation. As responsible parents we are charged with guiding our children toward appropriate and responsible behavior beginning from infancy. Dr. Vinton takes us through the stages of child development and identifies and explains the most common behavioral issues at each point. From there, she shares helpful anecdotes and effective techniques for helping children understand their boundaries and live and act within them. From the toddler who is testing to see how much he can get away with to the teen who is, frankly, doing the same, How to Set Limits helps parents define and implement safe and appropriate “rules of the road.” Elizabeth C. Vinton, M.D., is a board-certified pediatrician who completed her training at Childrens Hospital in Boston. She is the mother of three grown children.